Saturday, May 30, 2020

I think I have cried more tears in 2020 than my entire life put together

I think I have cried more tears in 2020 than my entire life put together. We have so much to work on. So much to change.
I grew up fearing the police. I grew up only having negative interactions with the police. From family members to close friends being arrested, interrogated, accused. Growing up I probably visited the county jails and prisons to see loved ones more times than I can count on my 2 hands. When you visit the prisons and is not even an inmate, you are treated just like you were a criminal as well. I literally had bail bonds on speed dial, because you know what, that was the life of some of our family members back then. I made a vow to myself as a young kid, that was not going to be my life and would do whatever it takes not to lead that same lifestyle or get caught up in it...
Ironically enough I marry someone who is an ex-felon. So much for trying to get away from that "life" but I knew he was different. I knew he was going to truly change his life. 
July 2002, Not even a month of him getting out we get pulled over by the police and the interaction is one I will never ever forget. 
Ce leans over to me and says just comply with EVERYTHING they say. I tell him, we didn't even do anything. He repeats, JUST COMPLY! We just had dinner at Applebee's on East Stockton Blvd and was on our way home. I was tired and I started to get heated, because I had no idea why we were getting pulled over. The tone in his voice was different and so I just followed his lead.
The officer approaches the car and does this weird double take. His expression changes. He asks for ID and where we were going and where we were coming from. We explain and told the officer. He asks is anyone on parole or on probation and Ce says "yes, I just got out"
The officer takes the ID and says he will be right back and within 5 mins we are surrounded by 5 additional police cars. This overwhelming sense of fear came over me as I had no idea what the hell was going on and why. A female officer comes to my side and asks me to get out the car and tells me that she needs me to sit in the back of her police car "for my safety". I am asking questions as to what's going on? why? what happened? What did we do? and over and over and over I am told to just sit in the back of the police car. No answers given. Just stern orders to sit in the back of the police car.
Ce was then asked to get out of the car as well and handcuffed and told to sit on the sidewalk as they thoroughly searched him and the car. Since he was on parole at the time, they had the right to search the car. After what felt like FOREVER, we were finally released and then told we can go home. Ce asked the officer "Sir, may I ask why you pulled us over and had 6 police cars present?" The officer said, "Oh the bulb on your license plate was out"
WHAT THE HELL! 
By then I got back in our car and I cried and was shaking and I was upset and just mortified by the whole experience. I had never been in a police car and just seeing the looks on passerby's had me ashamed and embarrassed for no reason at all. 
I know we are lucky. I know our car was "profiled" driving in Elk Grove and the officer was surprised to see that the driver was asian and the passenger was asian. Too late, he already pulled us over. I KNOW for a fact it could have been worse...I've seen videos of the worst. 
Now that we have children, it is our commitment and goal in life to ensure we are involved in our community. To do whatever it takes to ensure we do our part to contribute to the safety of our children's future and our city.
I can't even begin to tell you the many stories my own husband personally experienced with police brutality in his younger years and racist experiences he has had from people even just as recent as last month...BUT here we are now....
I volunteer with EGPD because I want to bridge the gap with law enforcement and our community. I want to be able to quickly express my concerns, my fears and my suggestions and comments regarding the city I live in. I want to be a liaison for community members to openly express their concerns and trust me that I will relay the message directly to our Chief of Police. I want to be a part of change and contribute to making positive strides with our relationships with the police. I don't want to fear the cops, I want to be allies with the cops to truly battle the criminals. There is 900,000 Law Enforcement officers across the nation and the percentage of bad cops who f*ck it up for the rest of the good cops need to be held ACCOUNTABLE!!!!
To this day, I still sweat and get nervous when a cop car is driving behind me.... I can't even begin to imagine those who have to live the reality of that fear every day just beacuse of their skin color. I have to pray extra hard for my nephews and nieces that are half black and their skin color is judged right off the bat. Or the families of my bestests friends just because they are African American.
My post is not up for debate. I am just tired. I cried so much and prayed and prayed and prayed today. I just needed to vent. My heart bleeds for our country...

P.S. This is the picture of the car we were driving in. Ce was so proud to buy it cash for $150 of his own money from a neighbor. Is it possible a car can get racially profiled too? I believe so....


Read more of my husband's blog posts here --->>> http://colinsyip.com